Unless you are a superhuman, you’ve most likely faced failure more than once in your lifetime! And as much as there are plenty of great motivational quotes out there to tell you that ‘there is no failure, only feedback’, motivating you to get back up and dust off your pants, failure still doesn’t feel amazing.
I am certainly not immune to failure either and was recently interviewed for a magazine about how to fail forward. I’ve decided to share my favourite six strategies with you here:
1. Tough love at its best:
Remember that math teacher in school who was proficient at tough love? The one that made you look bad in front of everyone because you didn’t remember the algebra formula he taught the day before?
And then you went home to study all the algebra formulas in the book and became Einstein.
I certainly do remember some of my teachers, one in particular, Mr Kraehenbuehl, our French teacher who was the stereotypical tough love type of guy. He made us feel bad for mispronouncing ‘oiseau’ (French word for bird. Try and pronounce it!).
We had two choices, we could either hate French forever after and give up on studying this beautiful language or, we could study extra hard to get his approval. I was a teacher’s pet so I chose the latter.
Failure works in a similar way, you can either tell yourself that you are just not that good at something or you can use it to fuel your fire and get better. Failure can be your toughest, yet greatest teacher if you allow it to be.
One of my philosophies in business I share with my team and anyone who wants to listen often is that failure is welcome and every failure is an opportunity to learn and grow. I am proud of many of my team members for having this attitude because it makes them take more risks and it helps them evolve.
Every time you feel out of you comfort zone, see it as a sign of your personal or professional growth.
I wholeheartedly welcome putting myself into situations that make me feel a little uncomfortable because I know I am evolving. The feeling of continuous growth is just so good!
In fact, I believe that if you never feel uncomfortable or if you never fail, you are staying too safe. There is nothing wrong with that. It’s a choice.
2. Don’t ‘just be happy’
How often have you heard someone command ‘just be happy!’. It’s one of these blanket statements that sometimes just isn’t that helpful.
I found that allowing myself to feel the emotion after a failure, be it frustration, anger or disappointment is the fastest way to move past it. Rather than getting upset about feeling upset because someone told you to ‘just be happy’, accept and allow the emotion. Once you acknowledge the feeling that comes up for you, it’s a lot easier to learn the lessons and move on.
Here are the steps I follow and the questions I ask myself to keep failing forward:
- Acknowledgement: I try to acknowledge my failure rather than denying or justifying it. This is where the ego has to move out of the way. We all stuff up every now and then.
I then ask myself: ‘Why did I fail?’ ‘Could I have done anything differently to get a different outcome?’ - Lessons: I then look for the lessons and I ask myself: ‘What can I learn from this experience?’ ‘What can I do better next time?’
- Action: Now it’s time to take action. Rather than indulging in self-pity, dwelling on the past or bashing myself up, I try to see future opportunities, move into action and ask myself: ‘What are my next steps to move forward and to make the best out of this situation?’
3. Failure is ephemeral (if only I could pronounce this word!):
It helps to realise that failure is not permanent. Greek philosopher Heraclitus was right when he said ‘the only constant is change.’
As a business owner you know better than anyone that change is constant and the only way to navigate through challenging situations is to embrace them and to not identify with a failure.
Failure it is not an identity or characteristics trait, it is an impermanent situation.
Children are so much better at failing forward than adults. There is a lot you can learn from their behaviour. They don’t give up walking when they fall over for the twentieth time. They recover and keep failing forward.
I’ve come to learn not to take myself too seriously as I navigate through a failure, to tell my bruised ego that it will be ok, to stay humble and curious.
Make sure you don’t fall into the trap of identifying yourself with the failure. You are not a failure, you are experiencing a failure.
4. Don’t compete against others, compete with yourself:
It’s very common for business owners to compete against everyone else. In fact, it’s what most business books tell you to do. It’s the worst advice.
The future of business lies in collaboration (more on that in another post as I could talk about this forever).
I’ve changed my mindset around this many years ago. I don’t compete against others, I compete with myself which means that I am continuously looking to raise my own bar, to thrive to become the best friend, sister, partner, daughter, leader, business woman I can be. To achieve my very own personal best, rather than being dictated by someone else’s.
Be guided by improving on your results, not someone else’s.
5. Gratitude can really pull you out of the hole:
I know, I know, you’ve probably heard too many people bang on about gratitude. I guess there is a reason why!
Being grateful certainly does keep you in higher spirits no matter how much shizzle hits the fan. It helps you to focus on what is working for you right now, rather than on what is not.
Gratitude is not about dreaming up unicorns and rainbows, although that is nice too. It’s about taking an honest look at your life and noticing the countless blessings you already have.
Many studies have shown that the power of gratitude is at the heart of running a successful and happy company (and life).
So how do you ‘do’ gratitude? Some people are very adamant about having a written gratitude practice. My advice is to do it your own way, to choose something that is working for you and is sustainable.
My personal gratitude practise is very low-maintenance and goes as follows; as I lie in bed at night after reading and before falling asleep I think about everything I am grateful for; from the wave I caught in my sunrise surf that put a smile on my face to a successful client meeting or speaking engagement to the delicious chai tea one of my team members made me.
You might prefer to keep a gratitude journal. There really is no right or wrong, choose a practice that works for you long term.
6. Zen the f*** out:
Last but certainly not least, one of my favourite ways to deal with failure and challenges in general is mediation. I’ve found that a daily meditation makes me feel more peaceful, more resourceful, more resilient and just all-round more zen.
When I think about how meditating benefits me, I see myself as the eye of a hurricane when a crazy storm hits metaphorically rather than joining in the frantic mess around me. I feel grounded and calm with a clear mind in the middle of a challenge.
Again, there are many different ways to incorporate meditating into your life. Even just five minutes in the morning before you go about your day is perfect. Just sit still for a few minutes and focus on your breath or use a mantra.
I usually meditate for ten to fifteen minutes first thing in the morning or after a yoga class.
At our headquarters we do ten minute meditations at 3pm, lead by one of my team members. Someone once told me that ‘if you are too busy for a ten minute meditation, do one hour!’
Remember, as much as we often can’t comprehend it in the moment, behind every failure or challenge there may be a goldmine and an opportunity to course-correct, enabling us to reach even higher highs in business and life.
Here is to taking risks and failing forward! You got this!
Franziska